Hunting Mr. Whittington

By Darren Weeks

I've been following with interest the story of Vice-Puppet Dick Cheney's shooting of a fellow hunter this past weekend.

I have to confess, upon first hearing of the story, I immediately thought this is no accident. I figured that more than likely, the victim, a 78 year-old lawyer by the name of Harry M. Whittington, probably said something that made the powermad V.P. angry, and he suddenly blasted his attorney-companion in the face. After all, he's the vice-president. Who's going to hold him accountable?

Obviously, there is no proof for this theory, but knowing this administration the way I've gotten to know them, from endless hours of study, it is apparent to me that they believe they are above the law and have a disposition about them that would make such a psychotic display of rage and violence possible. Naturally, they'd try to spin it as an accident.

Now, there is talk of a Grand Jury investigation of Cheney if Whittington dies.

Does anyone think that Despot Dick is going to be prosecuted for the murder of Mr. Whittington? The administration routinely murders people every day! Why should one lowly lawyer be enough to elicit a Grand Jury's indictment, when Cheney, Bush and the other evil would-be despots planned and orchestrated 9/11 and the war on terror? They've killed thousands!

I remember the days of the Clinton administration when the neocons circulated a list of the Clinton Body Count. It was a list of Clinton bodyguards and other people who had had close ties with Bill and Hillary that died mysterious deaths.

I am quite certain that, if published, the Bush Body Count would be much longer than Clinton's. But you'll never hear about it from the Rush Limbaughs of today. They're too busy advocating a policy of torture at Gitmo, or defending the administration's policy of spying on Americans. They have their collective heads so far up the presidential posterior they can't see anything but the darkness of their own souls.

As much as I would like to see these tyrants of doom locked up with the key thrown into the darkest, deepest sewer recess, I predict that even if Mr. Whittington's life expires, and even if a Grand Jury is called to review it all, ultimately, it will accomplish nothing. It will only serve to further distract the masses from concentrating on what really matters — placing the pressure on your local representatives to pass measures to safeguard our land, our privacy, and our honor.

Perhaps, the real lesson for the legions is how dangerous guns can be. If the vice-president — seemingly one of the most responsible men in America — cannot handle guns safely, can we expect the average American to do so? Perhaps, the next initiative is to remove the danger to everyone and place further restrictions upon the use and ownership of firearms.

To be certain, this would be a violation of our Constitutional rights, namely the second amendment. But at what point has this administration ever given a single consideration to Constitutional protections? They write their own code of ethics to fit the situation, at a given moment, and anyone who objects must be a "terrorist".

Such profound arrogance has much company throughout history. But even despots have limitations in their power.

Regardless of the ultimate fate of Mr. Whittington, rest assured that Despot Dick will remain as free as the quail at which he points his barrels. He'll still be on the loose, helping Babbling Bush, take aim at our freedoms, our privacy, our national neighbors, and our Bill of Rights.

The question is, will Americans care enough to fend off the attacks of the tyrants?