I wonder

Name: Mike Guzman
Posting date: 10/20/06
Stationed in: FOB, Iraq
Hometown: Kearny, NJ
Email: vampiresoldier@gmail.com

Posted to The Sandbox

I wonder if anyone back home in the US has any idea what is really going on here in Iraq. For some reason the media has to change everything to suit someone's interests, and I wonder if they even care about us over here. On this past Memorial Day, one journalist and her cameraman died. CNN ran the story and did about a five-minute piece on her. What made me so mad was that in that same incident a soldier also died, but I guess CNN only had 10 seconds left at the end of the story to say that a soldier had died. I wish they would actually do what they say they are doing and report what is actually happening. After I got back home the first time, in 2004, I told one of my friends that the longer we stay here the worse it is going to get, and I prove myself right.

I wonder if people back home know about the nightmares we have while we are awake, the trauma that we have in our heads because of what we have been through. I jump, watching movies that I've seen 1000 times, when there is shooting in them. I wonder if I will be able to drive back home without getting in trouble for driving in the middle of the road, and try to explain to the cops that I'm worried about roadside bombs. It happened to me once two years ago. And this time it will be worse. I've been hit multiple times by roadside bombs and not long ago a car bomb. I don't know if i will ever be able to have a normal life again.

I wish I knew what our mission in here is, too. Politicians say "Stay the course until victory." What victory? We aren't fighting anyone, we are driving around hoping not to get blown up. I'm guessing victory is when there are no more bombs to worry about? Or when we don't find anymore dead bodies on the streets every day? I wish I knew. I wish our leaders knew...